AntiEdwardtisms
by Tib Dunncan
Summary: Karin Hart has read the books. She knows all about the oh-so-god-like Edward Cullen, and hates him and his entire world with a burning passion. Too bad she doesn't know how to get away from it. R&R please!
1. Chapter 1

Hi, I'm Tib Dunncan. Biggest thanks and a giant hug to my Tori for typing this montrosity up for me! Love you, darling! This story is a peculiar little fic, in all ways. The idea came to me at, what 1 in the morning? A few weeks later I told my neighbor about it and she helped me realize that I should turn it into a fic. Anti-Edwardtism is not just me bagging on the oh-so–god-like Edward Cullen; it is an actual fic. Please read on…

As I came to, I found a sharp pain in my back-excruciating would be a better term.  
I winced. There were heavy footfalls around the room and a hand on my shoulder. "Are you up sweetie?" a man whispered.

My eyes flew open. Some man I didn't know was standing over me. A blue uniform-was he a cop? I didn't give it much thought. "Oh good. Okay. I have to go to work, but my daughter will be home in about 3 hours. You gonna be alright till then?"

"Yeah", I croaked. My voice was hoarse and it hurt to speak. "What happened?"

"You don't know?" the man asked. I shook my head. "Too bad, I was hoping you did. I'm just as clueless as you."

"Mhmm".

"Maybe I should stay here with you… You don't look too good."

I just woke up in a stranger's home. "Nah, Im fine. Work needs you, I'll survive."

"Alright, if you need anything, call the police station and ask for the Chief. Be careful."

I sighed deeply, closed my eyes, and quickly fell into unconsciousness. Again.

"…there'd be a visitor. I don't see anyone…"

"Check the couch, Bells."

Those were the first few words that I heard as I woke up. The pain in my back was gone, leaving behind a major headache.

I kept my eyes closed. The headache wouldn't pass. There were other human beings in the house- I'd been asleep for 3 or more hours. Shieeze- a little more than what I would call a cat nap. There was an odd feeling as the kid knelt down next to me. You know the way you can SENSE a presence, even though you can't see it? He pressed his hand to my forehead- it felt nice, warm. There was a sound of a couch cushion letting out air as someone sat down. "She seems cool. Cool enough, anyways. You know me, these days." A deep sigh. "I should be getting back to the reserve. See ya later Bells."

Bells, ugh.

"See ya." The sound of a door closing. I sat up, really looking at the room this time- and the room's only other occupant. A girl, maybe 18,brown hair brown eyes. Bells.

"Oh, are you up?"

"Yes."

"Hungry?"

"Nah, thanks."

"I've got to start dinner for my dad, anyway…"

"Want some help?" I hate feeling useless, especially at other people's homes.

"It's okay. So, Charlie told me that the hospital said someone brought you in unconscious. They said they found you in the side of the road. Any recollection of what happened?"

"Not a thing."

That's too bad. My dad's a police chief- but he can't figure anything out without a lead."

"Wh….Where am I, exactly?"

"Forks, Washington. Where are you from?" She asked, searing some chicken in a pan.

Clermont, Florida, I thought to myself. "Not too far from here," I lied, making a salad.

"Oh, well that's good."

Ya- uhuh.

"Forks, Washington. I couldn't have woken up in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. But FORKS!" I uttered under my breath.

The girl must have thought I belonged in an insane asylum, let alone the hospital.

"Any who, my name is Bella. Yours?" Charlie and Bella , how quaint and coincidental.

"Uh… Karin." I shuffled uncomfortably. The situation that I currently found myself in just seemd to be going downhill.

"How old are you Karin?"

"17."

"Cool. What high school do you go to?"

"Uh…" Windy hill High? No. "I was home schooled." There that sounded good.

"Oh".

The door opened. I looked into the living room, no one. I turned back to the salad "And who is this?" I heard. I turned around and nearly face planted into his chest, he was standing so close. Instead, I backed straight into the counter. At first, I didn't know if I wanted to laugh or puke – he was wearing some sort of perfume. Not cologne, perfume. Too much, at that. "You must be the young lady my dad told me Chief Swan took to his house."

I edged away from him, out of the kitchen. "You… your dad works at the … hospital?" Chief Swan? On a scale of one to ten on uncomfort, this single moment must have ranked a 22 and a half.

"My dad's a surgeon at the hospital here, yes."

"Oh, boy." I squeaked. I pushed past the older boy and headed for the door. Somehow, he managed to get there before me. If there was something that, at that moment, I had to say I hated the most about Edward Cullen, it would be that smug little smile that was plastered across his face just then.

"Bella and I are going to my place for the night. Do you want to come?"  
"Trust me, you don't want to be stuck here alone with Charlie." Bella commented from the kitchen. I looked at her, then back at Edward.

"Not on your life."

I said, shoving past him out of the house. I'd said it plenty of times before, but I learned at that moment how much I really hated being human.

A feeble, breakable, weak human.

Within 20 seconds I was slung over Edward's shoulder (beating at his back like mad mind you), and thrown into the backseat of a silver Volvo. So happy. I think it was around 150 miles an hour that I gave up any ideas of getting out of the car. I sat in the middle, my arms crossed over my chest, very unhappy.

"Any reason I was just kidnapped, Fangs?"

Edward slammed the breaks, making the car stop short, nearly throwing me into the front. "Ahck!" Edward turned around as I shot forward. We were barely an inch from each other's faces. He smelled nice just like Stephanie Meyer had said. I pushed the thought to the back of my mind, but it wouldn't stay there. I hate being human.

"What did you say?"

"I…" I shoved myself away from him and took a deep breath to clear my head, but it didn't work- the whole car smelled like him, now that I was aware of it. I rolled down the window spasmodically, gasping for air.

"What did you say?"

"Fangs." I repeated, as I regained my composure. "All the Cullens are vampires, correct?"

Cullen looked at me for a few minutes, then without a word, turned back around and started driving again.

Before long, he turned into a blind driveway. A few seconds later, a large white house came into view. I got out of the Volvo of my own accord- the last thing I wanted was to be carried into his home. I could feel him watching me like a prison guard as I walked through the front door. "Edward, Bella, nice to…" The girl stopped. A very tiny body frame-I assumed it was Alice. "Who is this?"

"What's your name?" Edward asked. Okay, maybe asked is too nice a term. Barked might be more appropriate.

"Karin Hart."

"And in the last half hour, she has managed to call me fangs and vampire."

Alice stopped dead. Her eyes got really wide. Suddenly, she turned on her heels and dashed upstairs. "Carlise!" her voice echoed down the stairs. I didn't care who told who what. This was progress…whatever THIS was. Fine, let them obsess over it. What were they going to do about it, BITE me? As much as I may dislike it, I was –and still am- human, and biting me would be breaking the treaty that all the Cullens had with the werewolves of La Push –

There was a sharp intake of breath behind me and a hand grabbed my arm, none to gently. I still have the bruise. I realized that it was Edward who grabbed my arm. Awe crap, mind reader. "OWOWOWOWOW OWWW!" I cringed.

"Edward you're hurting her."

"That's the idea." He growled to Bella. Then more loudly, "Answer me! How do you know about the treaty?"

"I know pretty much everything about most of you anyway." That didn't even make sense…

"Edward calm down." The bat let go of my arm upon his girlfriend's command.

"Okay. I can tell you now that I'm enjoying this as much as you and your family. I think I've made it pretty clear I don't like you, but you really don't need to worry about me letting out your little secret. I want to get out of here A.S.A.P, and telling the public about you leeches sure wouldn't help my time." I said. "That plus the fact I would DIE metaphorically and by the hands of your Italian 'friends'.

"The Volturi?"

"No the Mafia. Of course the Volturi." I sneered. Carlisle came downstairs with his wife and 'kids'. All 4 of the younger vampires looked coldly down at me. "Hello." Carlisle said smoothly. He knew I knew. Alice must have told him.

"Hi".

"Why don't you come and sit? I'd like to ask you a few questions."

Okay at this point, I'd like to say that not only did I find this would help me home, but I didn't entirely mind Carlisle, so I was more ready to cooperate. "How do you know so much about us? Who told you?"

"This is…complicated. I've read these books, called Twilight and it's all about you and your family and Miss Mary Sue back there." I jabbed a thumb towards Bella.

"Books? About us?"

"Yeah. I highly doubt they exist here though."

"That's good. Where are you from that these books exist?"

"Also complicated. Not sure how to describe it other than not here."

"How did you get here?"

I shrugged.

"I would like to know that too. Haven't got the slightest clue."

"So, I take it that you have no where else to stay."

Oh no. I opened my mouth to say words, but none came out. I didn't like where this was going.

"Well, seeing as you know so much about us , how you don't have a place to stay, and I wouldn't want you getting into any trouble while you're in Forks, you can stay here."

Ding dong!

"Really, I appreciate that, and I don't mean to cause any alarm, but I really don't think I could stay here."

"If it's because we're vampires, none of us bite humans. It is against our treaty with the Indians-"

"Of La Push. The dogs. I know."

"I don't refer to them as dogs. They're not bad people, honest."

Cullen came into the room. "It's Black." He said, 5 seconds before another teenage boy pushed past Edward, came up to me, grabbed me out of the couch, and dragged me out of the house, and set me on a motorbike.

"Wow," I said, "kidnapped twice in one day."

"Just hush up and you'll be fine." He started his bike.

Bella and Edward came out. "Jacob!" She shouted over the rumbling of the bike.

"I really can't believe you Bells! You bring her here, of all places?"

I got off the bike. "Ok STOP!" I screamed as they fought. Jacob turned off the bike and both stopped arguing.

"No offence, but I'm not enjoying being tossed around like your chew toy."

"You told her, you LEECH!" The indian started ferociously at the Cullen child.

Oops! (heheh)

"They didn't tell me!" I intervened. "The Cullens didn't tell me anything I haven't known for a while."

"How?"

"Books."

Black seemed to think about it for a moment, before disregarding it completely. O suppose it wasn't truly all that important to him at the moment. "Alright , now get on the bike."

"I…" Go with the werewolf to LaPush, or stay with Cullen. (shudder) Talk about a catch 22… "I think I'm gunna stay with the Vampires." I was safer with them. I hated their guts ,and Jacob's too, but I was safer with them than with the dog with mood swings. Not by much though.

"I'm not leaving you here with them. You're DINNER to them."

"What, you don't think I know that?" I sighed. "Look- I hate them. Fiercely. You're no different, so get that through your nearly unbreakable skull. I am here for an undefined period of time, and rest assured I'm not enjoying it."

"You're not safe here."

"Yes. I think I am safer here than with you and the pack. What with the mood swings, I'll be ripped to shreds the moment I get there."

"As opposed to having every ounce of blood drained from your body?"

"Amazingly, I'm going to trust them not to do that. They can control that, you guys can't."

Black started his bike and kicked off. "Whatever" he looked back at the Cullens, "Remember the treaty leeches."

And he was gone.

"You're going to trust us?" Edward asked, curiously.

"I hate you." Was my incredible reply.

"But you're going to TRUST us, right?"

"God YES I TRUST YOU!"

"That's all I needed to hear", and guided me back inside. "So!" Carlisle said as we got back in, "You'll need a place to stay, and you'll need to go to school until we know how to get you back home."

I was sad.

I ended up staying in Alice's room. Her room was unconditionally tidy, unlived in.

"Well, where's Alice going to stay?"

"We don't sleep."

"I said STAY, not Sleep." I pointed out. "She'll be fine. Rest."

Thankfully, due to how scarcely Alice used her room, it smelled like someone had

dumped only 3 bottles on the bed.

The next day…

I woke up and found myself EXTREMLY depressed. Still in Forks. Downstairs, the baby bats were readying for school. Carlisle and Esme practically begged me to eat something at McDonalds before taking me to a downtown office where forged a few adoption papers, a social security card and other legal stuff.

"She certainly ain't as pretty as your standards usually call for Mr. and Mrs. Cullen."

Well, gee, thanks. "Our son will be happy to know how incredibly generous you've been , Mr. Jenks" he sounded like he really meant it.

"You tell Jasper that I'm happy to help his family anytime," He, however, was nervous. Beads of sweat lined his forehead and I could see his hands shaking.

We got back into the car. "I know it may not be legal", Esme said, "but we're not supposed to exist, here."

"Right. We haven't had him forge anything for a while, not since we moved to Forks."

"What happens when he… ages?"

"Well, he'll have probably passed it on to someone else, and then all that's left is to convince them that we're descendants of the current Cullen family. It's not as hard as it sounds. Nobody would really consider the vampire factor, so no one should suspect that we've been alive for centuries."

I nodded and sat back in the seat.

"I'm glad to see that you are more comfortable around us, now."

"I'm fine with the vampire thing."

"Really?"

"Yeah.", I said. This conversation needed to end, now.

"Well Carlisle and I will enroll you into the high school."

"Alright."

"And, until we can figure out exactly where you're from, you'll stay with us. Sound good?"

"So- let's clear one thing- I'll be living with the Cullens?"

"Yes."

"Okay."


	2. Chapter 2

Bing! Bing! Bing!

Classes started, and the curriculum was something I had already learned (Between Bella and Myself, I started to realize that the academic standard in Forks sucked.) , not going to bother with details, very boring.

Lunch was simply depressing. I found myself a nice, empty table-no one would bother me! But the hate between Cullen and me was just mutual enough for him to want to annoy me. EVERY Cullen and Mary-Sue surrounded me. I was cornered. I didn't say anything for a moment.  
"Look- I'd rather not have my name become synonymous with Cullen. Honestly, that's the LAST thing that I want."

"Carlisle told us to make sure you're safe here. Although, I don't see why he's concerned with you. If it were up to me, you'd be living with the werewolves." Rosalie said.

"Trust me, I would rather be with the dogs than be with you 5."

"You know what?"

"What?" I moaned. Why did they have to TALK to me? I didn't even ask them to sit there.

"You're more arrogant than I thought."

"Sorry princess."

"You can hate us all you want Princess ," Edward said from next to me, " but you know you still respect us." I stood with my tray.

"I RESPECT the fact that you can snap me like a twig. And thank you- I shall continue to hate you to my hearts content." I started away.

"Karin, wait!"

"What?" I spun back to the Cullens. Bella started to guide me back to the table.

"Do you know what's really annoying?" she asked.

"Your voice."

"Having someone hate you and you NOT knowing why they hate you."

"You seem to have that problem a lot." I turned but was blocked by the brick wall that was Emmett.

"What is it that you pixies WANT?"

"A little cooperation would be nice." Jasper said.

Great, mood swings. I sat down, obeying. "Just tell us, what's so horrible about knowing the Cullens?"

"Your egos. The last thing I want is to be able to go ' No, no, Edward would say THIS not THAT.' Your faces," I point to Edward and Bella, "You two are Everywhere! Do you know how nauseating it is to see Cullen here staring down at me everyday in civics?"

"I'm not IN your civics class."

"Your personalities!" I went on ignoring him, "Such picture perfect kids, you have not a FLAW , unless you count the fact that you suck BLOOD. But, no! Teenage girls in America think that's HOT! Stuttering Little Miss Sue over here can give ASPRIN a headache. For good's sake, you freakin sparkle! What the hell? Vampires don't SPARKLE in the sun, they BURN! Honestly, if you were REAL vampires, that part where you showed her what you are would have been MUCH more entertaining. Twilight has Bram Stroker rolling in his grave!"

"Jasper…"

"I'm not doing that."

"And between you with the telepathy, you with the premonitions, you with your 'mood swings'- I have no free will here! And the worst part is, ya'll actually think I'm going to tell the public about the leeches living in Forks! Thanks, like I WANT to be ripped apart by the Volturi!"

"Will you calm yourself?"

"Sure", I stood and walked away again

Next class:

"Hey umm… what was your name?"

"Karin."

"Right, Karin." The girl was all starry-eyed. "You know the Cullens?"

My interested look dropped immediately, "Unfortunately."

"How? You just got here! The Cullens never talk to Anyone, EXCEPT Swan of course."

"I'm their," I cringed, feeling sick, "their adopted sibling."

"You're related to the Cullens!" she shouted. All the kids in the room stopped and stared.

"No," I said loudly, unconvincingly.

"But you just said-"

I stomped down on her foot. "Shut it kiddo!" I growled.

"I don't get it, why don't you want people to know?" she asked, puzzled as she recovered from the pain in her foot. I do so love combat boots.

I sighed and went back to work.

"Any who," she went on unaware of my disinterest, "You know Jasper Cullen, right?"

"Please go away."

"I really like him-" -Big Surprise- "-And I was wondering if you could ask him… even to talk to me?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"Get the HELL away from me!" I roared. She kinda inched away slowly, and I continued working.

Before school was out, I asked directions to the local Wal-Mart, and to the Indian Reservation, La Push.

Wal-Mart even felt different. Probably because I was able to walk around without seeing Edward and Bella. THAT I could live with.

I got off the checkout line with a bag.

And then IT showed up. "Any particular reason you ran?" he asked.

"I didn't run. I walked away from you at a brisk pace." I answered, smilling.

"What were you doing at Walmart?"

"Buying stuff." My answers just kept getting more and more vague.

"Come on back to the house." He said, "I'm going to drop Bella off at her house, and then we'll get back to mine."

"Nawh thanks." Both of them followed me out into the parking lot. Cullen got his car and followed me he entire time. I was annoyed at him, but also smiling, because I knew it was killing him (again) to have to drive that slowly. I did what I could- walked all the way to the boarder of the Indian Reservation. The car rolled to a stop and the pair of them got out of the car. "Karin, come back!"

"No thanks, Fangs!"

"Bella, take the car and head home."

"Careful." I heard the engine start up and gravel crunch as she pulled away. I sat.

"Well, Cullen?"

"Come here."

I smiled. "Nope."

"Karin, you think you know about the werewolves but you-"

"I do. I know not to get them angry, or to stare at Emily's face too long, and I know that VAMPIRES aren't allowed on the reservation."

"You're going to get yourself killed."

"How? By sitting here? I'm not a bloodsucker- they don't know I'm here."

"Unfortunately you're part of the Cullen family for now- that makes you just as banned

as we are."

"Bella's allowed on the Reservation. The wolves- with the exception of Jacob- don't take kindly to her, but she's allowed."

"You're doing this to spite me, aren't you?" he asked, frowning. I nodded vigorously, "Yup!"

"Look- we have a treaty. If I step foot on the reservation, they're going to be pissed. Don't make this hard. The harder you make this, the longer it's going to take for you to get home." He reasoned.

"But the harder I make things the more amusing it becomes. If I'm going to be stuck with you lot, I may as well enjoy it."


End file.
